The iPod touch, Apple’s gimped iPhone that’s just for music, sounds fantastic for people who want all of the iPhone’s music and video features and none of its calling ones. PC Mag got their hands on one a bit early and found that it’s just as good as the iPhone in terms of, well, everything, but has new features like double-clicking the Home button to bring up music controls no matter where you are. All in all, if you have an iPhone, there’s not much reason to buy this, but if you don’t and really want that touchscreen functionality, then this is for you. [PCMag]

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This clever little device will keep you from stubbing your toe while going for a flashlight next time the power goes out. Fitting between a lightbulb and your lamp, the Power Failure Light sits dormant and juices up while the power is flowing. When you get an outage, the built-in LED lights automatically turn on, giving you light for up to 8 hours. It’s a pretty brilliant little device, and at $40 a pop it would be doable, albeit expensive, to put one of these on all your lamps, making a power outage much less of an inconvenience. [Product Page via Red Ferret]

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Now that the Halo 3 press train has a gut full of coal, one of the big guns they’re whipping out in preparation for the game’s launch is this gigantic diorama, featuring humans and aliens battling it out on the field of sand, cardboard and little rocks. Not only does it show little soldiers taking cover, getting shot, getting eaten, and exploding, there’s even a shot of one of them getting dragged off to be sodomized by two aliens. I hope that makes it into the game! [Kotaku]

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Wacom has replaced its old consumer model, Graphire, with a new two-model line called Bamboo and Bamboo Fun. First off, neither one of the new models can recognize that your pen is tilting, change functions depending on what application you’re running, or use other non-Bamboo specific drawing pens.

But they both have added four programmable buttons as well as a large zooming/scrolling circle. The Bamboo is the more professional model of the two. It features a nice clean design, but lacks a larger tablet option, a mouse or even an eraser on the pen. But it’s relatively cheap at $69.99. The Bamboo Fun, while looking significantly goofier, does include the pen, a larger tablet option and the mouse. But these extras bump up the price to $99.99 for the smaller tablet and $199.99 for the medium-sized one. Look for them later this month. [Crave]

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False alarm. The Blue Zune we showed you in the Target ad isn’t actually a Blue Zune, it’s a Black Zune that just looks blue thanks to the crappy image. The black one does actually look slightly blue when you look at it (the doubleshot is blue), so we can see where the confusion comes from. But still, the image was REALLY blue. [Zune Online]

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We’re not sure what to say about this stainless steel male chastity belt other than the fact that we want zero part of that. There’s a hole in the front for your junk to go, as well as a hole in the back for the stinkier junk to drop out, and the whole thing is locked with a key you (hopefully) never lose. How long can this be worn? “The experiences of my customers are completely different. They range from weekend use to the continuous carrier.” At least it beats getting your muchachos cut off forever. [Latowski via Nerd Approved]

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It was a hard-fought battle between two worthy adversaries, but in the end, there could be only one. Was it the ninja’s pick, the Mitsubishi Jet Towel? Or was it the choice of soccer hooligans everywhere, Dyson’s upstart Airblade? Watch as NYC intern Benny and I let a group of people with wet hands pick the dryer that blows the most. –Video by Richard Blakeley

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Samsung and Bang & Olufssen have just thrown up a teaser site for their Serenata phone, which comes at us in just 17 days. What the phone has internally or even what it looks like is still a mystery on the site, but putting two and two together from earlier leaks you get a phone with 4GB flash memory, MPEG-4 video, 240×240 display, HSDPA and UMTS 3G, and also an iPod-esque scroll wheel. If the past leaks are correct, this is what the phone will look like—an electric razor. [Serenata via Electronista]

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Nokia, Samsung, Sony Ericsson and others pitch Universal Flash Storage, “a unified removable memory card that can be shared among various mobile, portable and other CE devices without the need for any adaptors.” Yeah, just like SD, CF, Memory Stick and xD before it. [CNNMoney.com]

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This week at Uncrate: We stay classy (and drunk) with the Wine Flight Set, decorate our cubicles with some General Mills Kubrick Figurines, and keep our lawns trimmed with the Husqvarna Automower.

We also hit the links office-style with My Mini Golf Course, surf the asphalt on the WAVE Street Surfboard, and impress our poker buddies with some Bicycle Guardians Playing Cards. Finally, we survive the urban jungle thanks to the Swisschamp Rosewood Knife, ditch our plain business cards for some stylish Moo MiniCards, and state the obvious with the I’m A Noob T-Shirt.

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